Monday, May 01, 2006

New! Core Rate Diet, Loose Weight Fast!

A new and amazing weight loss system has been developed based on official government research! Loose all the weight, yes that's right, all your weight! Its the new Core Rate diet based on the wildly successful government Core Rate of inflation measurement. How does cooked government measurement of the economy relate to a weight loss system? Lets begin with the basics.

Inflation is the increase in the supply of money created by the banking system, in the USA, that's the Federal Reserve. Most people think inflation is the rise in prices of things or services, but that's like blaming rain on wet streets. When more money is created than the growth in the economy, that excess money has to go somewhere. Somewhere like assets and items. Stocks, real estate, food, oil, and all the things we buy to sustain ourselves and our lifestyles. In an honest system, heh heh, once a month or so we would add up all the costs of a standard basket of items we are likely to buy and compare the total to the same basket bought last month. if it cost 2% more this month we would say that inflation is up 2% per month, and multiply by 12 months to get the annual rate. If it cost 2% less we would say that inflation fell by 2%. But wait, the government never does anything in a simple and honest way so lets see how they play some games with the methodology to skew the numbers to make the economy look better than it really is, this manipulation also enables them to cheat people on fixed incomes out of their money since their income is tied to the government published inflation rate.

One dirty trick they use is the substitution of items. If for instance the price of beef rises too much this month, they assume that people who would normally buy beef will instead buy less of it or perhaps buy cheaper chicken so they substitute the price of chicken for the price of beef. The result is that the inflation rate will be falsely skewed downward. Its not a comparison of real prices at all. Its a lousy trick, but those kind soles that would generously give the government the benefit of the doubt might be able to see some logic in this. Personally, I don't buy it.

The really criminal part is the so called Core Rate. In this travesty, they start with the already twisted inflation rate we were just discussing, but they take out food and energy. They tell the unwashed masses this is because food and energy prices are "volatile". If you're talking about Taco Bell and gasoline I would tend to agree, man are they volatile. But that's not what they mean. They mean the prices move up and down too quickly and would produce an unrealistic picture. In reality it shows the accurate picture that they don't want you to see. If this month they reported the inflation rate was 22% because gasoline shot up (sound familiar?) We'd all be running around with rifles and Fed governors would be hanging from trees like christmas tree ornaments.

All right already you say, what about the diet? Is this some kind of bait and switch scam? How can I use this information to loose those 40 pounds of old cheeseburgers I've been carrying around my midsection?

Introducing the Core Rate Diet (tm)! Its so simple too, just do what the government does to the inflation numbers, only in this instance we're dealing with another kind of inflation. Body inflation. Here it is in two easy steps:

1. Eliminate food from your diet. That's it, just follow the Core Rate methodology and take food out of your life! Simple!

2. Now remove energy from your lifestyle. Don't buy any gas for your car and just walk or ride your bike everywhere, and have your electricity turned off by the power company. Without fuel to power your car think of all the extra exercise you will be getting, and add the shivering in the winter at home and all the sweating in the summer!

Subtract all the calories you're not eating and subtract all the calories you're burning from all the exercise and shivering and pretty soon your weight will drop like a 16 ton anvil! That's right, all your weight will completely fucking disappear! Problem solved, no more "fatty" you! Brilliant!

If you want to read more about all the ways the government cooks the "official" numbers click on over to John Williams' enlightening web site and read
the Primer On Government Economic Reports.

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